Happiness and Health.

We all know that being unhappy can make someone sick. Having feelings of anxiety, depression can lower one’s immune defenses and leave them susceptible to illness, or if one’s already ill can make them feel worse. But can the opposite be true? There are ways that being happy can improve one’s health. They say “laughter is the best medicine”, and it some cases it can help improve the way a person feels.

What I'm Grateful for...

There are many things in my life that I’m grateful for. I’m grateful for all the men and women that served in the arm forces to protect the way of life I have now, as if they had not I wouldn’t have written this sentence. I’m grateful that I live in a time that I’m able to receive an education to make my life better. I’m grateful to have people in my life that love and appreciate me, because it gives me the confidence to be myself. I’m grateful that I can see the humor in everyday things so I can enjoy life instead of being miserable. I’m grateful for modern medicine, as I wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for it. I’m grateful to be in my right mind so I can think freely and have control of my actions. I’m grateful that I have experienced love because I believe that is something that gives life meaning and pleasure. 

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Everyone wants to find love. Everyone feels that there is someone out there that can fulfill that desire. When that person comes along, they form a strong bond of love. This love is a mutual affection between the two people and can generate happiness when this union is formed. But with time, the happiness shared between the couple can decrease because of problems with the relationship. Couples can find ways to cultivate happiness to have a successful relationship. One must first find happiness within oneself in order to find happiness within the relationship. Focusing on the positives of the relationship rather than the negatives can increase happiness. Both partners must be aware of not sacrificing too much of themselves for the other to be happy. One must accept their partner for what kind of person they are to ensure that their relationship is long lasting.

Before trying to cultivate happiness within their relationship, one must find happiness within themselves. It’s very hard to keep a happy relationship if one isn’t happy. This feeling can be caused by unfinished goals, financial problems, or simply having a bad day. People who suffer from this tend to release their negative emotions on their partner just so that they can feel just as bad as they do. Often they would argue over petty things, such as taking out the trash, just to vent out all that they kept bottled up inside. This release can damage the relationship couples have because although one usually doesn’t intentionally mean to hurt the one they love, it really affects them and if this abuse continues, it can destroy the relationship. A person can do the things he loves to keep themselves happy, like reading a book or playing a sport. Taking care of one’s happiness is important because it establishes the mood in the relationship and if a person is happy, they can do positive things in the relationship so the partner will be happy and return the favor.

If a couple maintains a positive environment in within the relationship, happiness is sure to exist. Focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship rather than dwelling on the negative ones can help increase happiness. People around the world have at one point either given or received relationship advice. Most of the advice usually consists of things one shouldn’t do in the relationship. What couples should focus on things they should do in the relationship, like integrating positivity. Darby Saxbe says that positivity “shifts our perspective: while negative emotions shut us down, positive emotions open us up.”(qtd in Saxbe 80).Being positive enables a person to create new ideas to make a good relationship into a better one. It allows you to appreciate the things one’s partner has done for them and gives the chance to connect with them on many different levels. Couples can plan activities that would mean so much more because they would share a memory in which they were happy and felt closer together. They can reflect on those experiences and plan more of them to keep the relationship happy and satisfying.

Couples need to achieve a balance in their relationship so it can be a happier one. Tal Ben-Shahar refers to happiness as “the ultimate currency”, in which everyone’s goal in life is to attain this (qtd in Ben-Shahar 118). He says that “people feel more content, and relationships are more likely to prosper, when both partners see the relationship as equitable.”(qtd in Ben-Shahar 118). Most believe when a person makes sacrifices for someone, it’s because they love them. But when one gives up what makes them happy just to satisfy the other, the relationship is unequal. Although the person does it out of love, in the long run they will feel miserable. When couples see themselves in the relationship as equals, meaning that they are not sacrificing too much of their happiness for the other, it would profit both in the relationship. Neither partner would feel that the other is depriving the other from the things that make them happy and to feel obligated to stay with them because they did so much for them.

Couples need to understand what kind of person their partner is to have a happier relationship. This means that a person needs to be aware of their partner’s core self. Getting to know one’s partner can help connect the couple on many different levels other than a sexual attraction. Couples can disclose their personal goals, hopes and dreams so their partner can be have a deeper understanding what their partner is passionate about and what they fear. This gives meaning for the relationship and if the couple really loves each other, they would help the other accomplish those goals and both feel happy. Tal Ben-Shahar says that “The process of knowing and being known is potentially never ending”, and that “there’s always more to be revealed and discovered” (qtd in Ben-Shahar 120). This process can be like an adventure, finding what their likes and dislikes are can confirm the things they have in common and keep the relationship fresh and exciting. By knowing their partner, couples can then cultivate intimacy by planning activities that are meaningful and pleasurable to their partner as well as themselves. With these activities, the couple can share exciting memories that make them feel good when thinking about it. This can  strengthen their bonds of love and make them feel happy that they are together.

happiness and relationships

Many people mistake sacrifice for love. They see the more they sacrifice for a person, the more love they have for that person.  Some people give up their careers, their dreams, just to make the other happy. I believe that doing this isn’t fair. Sacrificing too much of oneself for the other is not beneficial for one’s happiness. Some may consider this as a true act of love, but I see it as an act of foolishness.

I believe that when it comes to relationships, everything is 50/50. A healthy relationship should consist of each person supporting the other with the intent of looking after their best interests. No one person should give up too much for the other because it can and will hurt them in the long run. When the person one loves decides to terminate the relationship, one is left with a feeling of betrayal because all that sacrifice was for nothing. It’s not only the person leaving, but with them they carry all of one’s hope and dreams, precious time that never be turned. Any person going through that wouldn’t feel happy because they put so much into the relationship and got so little out of it. Emotionally, it can make a person feel hollow inside and hinder a person from finding happiness for a while. Tal Ben-Shahar says that “sacrifice is a person who renounces something that is essential to their happiness”.  Giving up something that makes one happy for the sake of another’s happiness will decrease one’s happiness in the long run. 

A little bit of sacrifice isn’t bad, like one giving away their cat for the sake of the others allergy, because one cares about the well-being of the other without losing as much. The couple should work as a team to have a relationship where meaning and pleasure can be attained by both people. One should never give up their core self for the sake of another’s if they don’t want to lose out on finding happiness. That is similar to trying to change for someone to gain their affection.  People that share a bond of love should accept the other for who they are, and allow the other to be themselves in order to maintain happiness in both people.

I learned today that i have the idealist portrait of a teacher. It makes sense because i like teaching others and I care about the welfare of others. Im good at arguing my point, and i was told growning up i should be a politician or a lawyer.

happiness at work

I would think that it would be very hard for anyone to be happy doing something that they don’t like. Working at some dead end job, miserable, only looking forward to the weekends and the paychecks. To actually find a person that l loves their job is quite rare. Most people sacrifice their happiness for a job they don’t like, because happiness doesn’t pay bills. But does it have to be that way? Couldn’t you get a job that pays you for doing the things that make you happy?

When people look for jobs, they look for how much they pay. They will hate that job with every fiber of their being, but stick around because of the paycheck. I think that people should look for jobs that will make them happy. What I mean is, if you like to build things, don’t work in an office, become a construction worker. If you are at a job doing what you love, you would hardly consider it work. There wouldn’t be any of those “ughh…I have to go to work in the morning...” feelings and be excited to go to work like a child starting their first day at kindergarten.

When I was 14, my friend and I were looking for jobs. I like to teach others and like to be funny, so I decided to work at a summer camp. My friend decided to work at McDonalds. Although my friend was getting paid more than I was, he hated is job, to the point that it would make him sick. I, on the other hand, loved my job. It gave me the chance to become a positive role model. I taught the children to be proud of whom they were and made it one of the best summers they ever had. I received minimum wage, but the incentives made the job worthwhile. Children absorb from their surroundings, so I made it my goal to do the best I could to influence them in a positive way, and I did so for 5 years. I saw it as an investment because these children will inherit the earth and I felt that through them I can change the world in a positive way.

I think that is important for people to find jobs that they will be happy in because they work much better and would look forward to do it. Also, if people find jobs doing what they love, they wouldn’t have worked a day in their lives.

happiness in education revised (paper)

I will find ways to socialize in school to help me become a better student. When it comes to education, the way I intake information is not the traditional style. The way I learn involves me being able to interact with others. I learn better by listening to information rather than writing it down. I learn better when I work in groups and also when explaining information to others. I like when my instructor has open discussions. I feel that I should be able to feel comfortable in my classroom. I believe that customizing my education can help me get in the zone and can maximize my learning experience as well as my happiness. I think if a school can care for needs such as these, I can work to my full potential and achieve great success.

I have trouble retaining information when I write down notes while an instructor is speaking. The way I learn and stay in the flow is through listening. Writing seems to disrupt my flow of learning.  My hands simply can’t keep up with the voice of the instructor. Since I’m focused on trying to write down every word they’re saying, I’m not paying proper attention to the lecture and I lose out of the important information. Writing the information down can sometimes confuse me if it’s not properly explained to me and I get stuck not knowing anything. I learn much better listening rather than writing because the information can be put in the simplest meaning so I can understand what is being taught.

When I’m asked to work in groups, I know there is going to be that one person that just doesn’t get what’s going on. I enjoy helping my peers understand information because while I’m teaching them, I’m also teaching myself. Each time you explain to someone what is going on, the more times you are repeating the same information over again, you’ll be able to retain the information. By explaining the information to my peers, I understand the information and gain knowledge, so I can be able to put it in terms they’ll understand. When I know what I’m talking about, I enjoy talking about it. Also, by being able to work in groups, you can learn different ways of thinking about things and different methods of solving problems. I was paired with a partner in my precalculus course and we had to work on factoring polynomial equations. I wasn’t good at doing this and I took a long time to factor the problems. My partner saw that I was taking a while to do the work so she showed a method she used that made factoring the problems so much easier. Thanks to her, I was able to understand how to do the work in class by using a method that made it easier to do.  I believe that some people learn more through their peers rather than their educators, so I think that this way is a great way to interact with people positively and help each other succeed.

When I was younger, I would always call out in class, because I was so eager to tell my teacher an answer or share some background knowledge about the topic being discussed .That’s way I love when my instructor hosts an open discussion. I think it’s the best time to learn anything. It’s also the best time for me to shine and show the class what I have to offer. When it comes to doing an assignment, I know that I can verbally explain a concept with more clarity than I can by writing about it. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says that flow “is a state in which we feel that we are one with the experience.”  Being able to participate in open discussions puts me in the zone.  I am able to express how I feel about a certain topic in greater detail and help me to understand the feelings and opinions of my other peers. By listening and exchanging ideas, it helps me to understand the information from many different perspectives and it improves my abilities to tie things together. I believe that I grow the most intellectually when having open discussions. I also think it’s a fun way to learn about a topic because you get to know your peers and can help connect with one another through common interests. Talking with others about future goals during open discussions can also help to reassure me to pursue my goal with greater vigor.

I agree with Daniel Goleman with he says that psychologists agree that eighty percent of factors that determine success come from “emotional intelligence”. Whenever I’m in a classroom and I’m comfortable with my surroundings, I’m able to be myself. I’m able to enjoy my learning experience and feel confident to contribute to the lesson. I know the when I show interest in something I’m able to focus on learning about it and very eager to share with the world how much I know about it, like if it’s second nature to me.

I know that I like to socialize, as it is part of my learning process as well as my personality. I believe I can use this trait to my advantage because I’m able to feel comfortable around others and other can feel comfortable around me. Being able to work in groups and have open discussions puts me in my element and helps me get into the zone.  Being able to step into a classroom and feel a sense of welcoming by my instructor and peers gives me the confidence to work to my full potential and even help push past it. I believe that customizing my education to incorporate my unique styles of learning is ideal to increase my happiness. It will help me achieve my goals much sooner, and will help me have fun along the way. I will work hard to find ways to socialize when I’m at school so that not only I would become a better student, but would also help to become a happier student.