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Everyone wants to find love. Everyone feels that there is someone out there that can fulfill that desire. When that person comes along, they form a strong bond of love. This love is a mutual affection between the two people and can generate happiness when this union is formed. But with time, the happiness shared between the couple can decrease because of problems with the relationship. Couples can find ways to cultivate happiness to have a successful relationship. One must first find happiness within oneself in order to find happiness within the relationship. Focusing on the positives of the relationship rather than the negatives can increase happiness. Both partners must be aware of not sacrificing too much of themselves for the other to be happy. One must accept their partner for what kind of person they are to ensure that their relationship is long lasting.

Before trying to cultivate happiness within their relationship, one must find happiness within themselves. It’s very hard to keep a happy relationship if one isn’t happy. This feeling can be caused by unfinished goals, financial problems, or simply having a bad day. People who suffer from this tend to release their negative emotions on their partner just so that they can feel just as bad as they do. Often they would argue over petty things, such as taking out the trash, just to vent out all that they kept bottled up inside. This release can damage the relationship couples have because although one usually doesn’t intentionally mean to hurt the one they love, it really affects them and if this abuse continues, it can destroy the relationship. A person can do the things he loves to keep themselves happy, like reading a book or playing a sport. Taking care of one’s happiness is important because it establishes the mood in the relationship and if a person is happy, they can do positive things in the relationship so the partner will be happy and return the favor.

If a couple maintains a positive environment in within the relationship, happiness is sure to exist. Focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship rather than dwelling on the negative ones can help increase happiness. People around the world have at one point either given or received relationship advice. Most of the advice usually consists of things one shouldn’t do in the relationship. What couples should focus on things they should do in the relationship, like integrating positivity. Darby Saxbe says that positivity “shifts our perspective: while negative emotions shut us down, positive emotions open us up.”(qtd in Saxbe 80).Being positive enables a person to create new ideas to make a good relationship into a better one. It allows you to appreciate the things one’s partner has done for them and gives the chance to connect with them on many different levels. Couples can plan activities that would mean so much more because they would share a memory in which they were happy and felt closer together. They can reflect on those experiences and plan more of them to keep the relationship happy and satisfying.

Couples need to achieve a balance in their relationship so it can be a happier one. Tal Ben-Shahar refers to happiness as “the ultimate currency”, in which everyone’s goal in life is to attain this (qtd in Ben-Shahar 118). He says that “people feel more content, and relationships are more likely to prosper, when both partners see the relationship as equitable.”(qtd in Ben-Shahar 118). Most believe when a person makes sacrifices for someone, it’s because they love them. But when one gives up what makes them happy just to satisfy the other, the relationship is unequal. Although the person does it out of love, in the long run they will feel miserable. When couples see themselves in the relationship as equals, meaning that they are not sacrificing too much of their happiness for the other, it would profit both in the relationship. Neither partner would feel that the other is depriving the other from the things that make them happy and to feel obligated to stay with them because they did so much for them.

Couples need to understand what kind of person their partner is to have a happier relationship. This means that a person needs to be aware of their partner’s core self. Getting to know one’s partner can help connect the couple on many different levels other than a sexual attraction. Couples can disclose their personal goals, hopes and dreams so their partner can be have a deeper understanding what their partner is passionate about and what they fear. This gives meaning for the relationship and if the couple really loves each other, they would help the other accomplish those goals and both feel happy. Tal Ben-Shahar says that “The process of knowing and being known is potentially never ending”, and that “there’s always more to be revealed and discovered” (qtd in Ben-Shahar 120). This process can be like an adventure, finding what their likes and dislikes are can confirm the things they have in common and keep the relationship fresh and exciting. By knowing their partner, couples can then cultivate intimacy by planning activities that are meaningful and pleasurable to their partner as well as themselves. With these activities, the couple can share exciting memories that make them feel good when thinking about it. This can  strengthen their bonds of love and make them feel happy that they are together.